Is That A Stick Of Dynamite In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me?

from Ted Dibiase and the Million Dollar Punk Band by Ted Dibiase and the Million Dollar Punk Band

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lyrics

it's kentucky fried friday
sitting in the services
chowing into to chicken
like a wolf with a thirst for it

some lads enter
one's wearing a backpack
look across at lee
and we have to hurry up

cos we can taste the suspicion
he gave a wink, gave a nod
they ordered a bargain bucket
but we know what’s going on

we saw the sweat on his brow
he gave a wink, a suspicious cough
we dont wanna be around
we dont wanna be around
we dont wanna be around
when one of them goes off

then we're walking round canterbury
killing time between beers
engaged in intelligent conversation
about paul gascoigne’s career

when a family walks past
they're all dressed in black
i look across at lee
he has a panic attack

because he can smell the suspicion
they're all huddled in a group
just out to do their weekly big shop
but we know the truth

we saw the sweat on their brows
is that a ticking noise or a tut?
we dont wanna be around
we dont wanna be around
we dont wanna be around
when one of them goes up

I’ve seen the news
exploders are everywhere!
I’ve seen the news
be scared be scared be scared!

I’m sick so sick of living in fear
of men with backpacks, men with beards

so we go to the gym
cos we’re starting to bloat
fatter than elvis
before he took a shit and croaked

then an irish bloke enters
carrying a duffel bag
i look across at lee
and he starts to look scared

does that bag contain his gym shorts and shoes
or is there something else inside?
is he here to work on his abs and biceps
or has he got something to hide?

cos we can smell the suspicion
a bag of nails? no one knows!
we dont wanna be around
we dont wanna be around
we dont wanna be around
when one of them explodes

credits

from Ted Dibiase and the Million Dollar Punk Band, released May 9, 2014

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Ted Dibiase and the Million Dollar Punk Band Sittingbourne, UK

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